The Power of Showing Up... oh yeah, and CANCER SUCKS!!!!

Over the past month, my mom has been fighting the real fight at UVA. The rollercoaster of emotions that has come with her diagnosis, treatment, and battle is beyond words. We’ve watched our real-life superhero go through unimaginable things—things that would break most of us. But her strength, fight, and courage? Absolutely unreal.

The other day, my dad looked at my sister and me and said, “Not one of us could have made it this far.” And he’s right. She is incredible.

Through all of this, one of the most humbling and beautiful things has been the overwhelming outpouring of love. Messages, calls, texts, and prayers have poured in from places and people we never expected. My mom knows that people she has never even met are lifting her up in prayer every single day. At one point, she looked at me and said, “I bet there are a thousand people praying for me.” Without hesitation, I replied, “Mom, I’m sure it’s WAY more than just a thousand.”

We have her name on every prayer list we can find, and if you’re inclined to add her to yours, please know we welcome every single prayer, good vibe, and positive affirmation.

Watching her fight this battle has been both heartbreaking and inspiring. She is proving, every single day, that strength isn’t just about physical endurance—it’s about faith, courage, and the will to keep pushing forward.

To everyone who has prayed, cared for her, reached out, or simply sent love in any form—thank you. You are part of this fight, and we feel it.

And to my mom—our warrior, our hero—you are so much stronger than even you know and you inspire people every day. 💙

My mom wouldn’t be thrilled about a blog that just talks about her battle because, well... we don’t do pity parties. (Just know, Mom, I had to share the story to make the rest of this blog make sense.)

The outpouring of love has been incredible. Her hospital room is covered in cards, and I started a Caring Bridge page to post updates and prayers. Friends and family leave messages that we can share with her.

As with any difficult time, people have reached out asking, “What can we do?” And honestly, that’s such a tough question. Sometimes, we don’t even know what we need. Other times, we feel like asking is an inconvenience.

This past week, a friend texted me asking if I’d be around. She and some women from our church had a prayer shawl for my mom and wanted to bring it by. They also had one for me. She and her husband even offered to meet for a beer. Since I’d been working in the yard and looked like I hadn’t bathed in three days, I told them if they swung by, I’d have an ice-cold beer waiting for them.

When they arrived, I asked, “Got time to stay and have a beer?” They hesitated, not wanting to impose, but I told them it might actually be a good time to hit pause. And you know what? That was exactly what I needed.

I needed two friends to come by, drink a beer in the backyard, and talk about my chickens, my failing septic system, and outdoor soaking tubs. A distraction—something to pull my mind in a different direction. That’s what I needed, and I didn’t even know it could be that simple.

I think many of us struggle with reaching out because we don’t know what to say. I know I do. When someone I care about is hurting—whether it’s illness, loss, or hardship—I freeze. My mind goes blank, and I think, I have nothing to offer them. I don’t know what to say. So, I say nothing. I avoid the conversation altogether.

We’re wired to help. From a young age, we’re taught to comfort others, solve problems, and offer solutions. So when we’re faced with something we can’t fix, we feel powerless. We don’t want to confront that helplessness, so we step back instead.

Recently, a friend admitted, “I wanted to check in on you, but I didn’t know what to say.” That crushed me. Because the truth is, he could have called and sat in silence, and I would have been just as grateful.

We talked about how uncomfortable it feels when we can’t help. When we can’t make things better. But that’s exactly why showing up matters so much. Because the person going through the hard time? They can’t fix it either. And sometimes, they just need to know that’s okay.

So, the next time you don’t know what to say, say that. Reach out anyway. Sit in the silence. Send a text that says, “I don’t have the right words, but I’m here.” Because being there—being present—matters so much more than saying the perfect thing.

This morning, while getting ready for work, I heard something that hit me hard—a short talk by Simon Sinek called The Power of 8 Minutes. I encourage you to look it up on YouTube; it’s less than a minute long. Essentially, it only takes 8 minutes to change someone’s trajectory for the day. Just 8 minutes of your time—a call, a check-in text, or a quick conversation—can shift their entire mindset.

My friends didn’t overstay their welcome that day, nor did I feel rushed. They were here for maybe 45 minutes—my 8 minutes. And in that time, I was able to reset. It reminded me that in the midst of all this chaos, it’s okay to take a few minutes and disconnect from reality.

So maybe, if you have a friend or loved one struggling, don’t be afraid to reach out—even if you don’t know what to say. Maybe just take 8 minutes to let them know you have no clue what to say, but that you love them.

On a lighter note, I’m now thinking that instead of a Meal Train, we need a Beer Train. Friends could sign up for a specific day to drop by for a cold beer. No agenda, no food, no stress about what to say. If you come by here, we’ll talk chickens, failed septic systems, outdoor soaking tubs, and gardening.

Because sometimes, the best thing you can do for someone isn’t bringing a casserole or saying the perfect words—it’s just showing up with a beer and an open heart.

Love & Light

p.s. CANCER SUCKS